Okay so I went for the job interview at CapitalLand building without knowing what hell to expect.Earlier on, Cyrus told me his dad had cautioned him not to get conned, like into selling his own body at half price ( Buy Him Get Me free ) or giving free blow jobs to gay banglas.

It was nothing like that.

Guess what? They wanted us to sell our bodies in return for a cup of salted peanuts.

I tell you, it was like a rocky trip to mars and back.
So here it goes.

The lift opened at the 10th floor. The big logo read " Venture Era".On first sight, we noticed were teenagers wearing suits and skirts, carrying files and bustling around.We asked for Vera, who had requested for us to go down for the interview and we were told to be seated.

At the corner of my eye, I saw someone's familiar sihouette.I quickly approached her from the back and with closer inspection, it was affirmation that she was Anju's friend, Tin.Giving her a weak slap on the back, our conversation started, while Cyrus caught up pace with me.

Me: Hmm surprise surprise.So you're working here?

Tin: *Stares at me blankly*

Me: Justin from ADC?

Tin: OH!! HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII ( So far the longest one i've ever heard)

Me: So you're working here?

Tin: Sort of.You guys too ?

Me: Nah, we're here for the interview.

Cyrus: So what do you do ?

Tin: Some admin stuff.

Me: Like ?

Tin: Errr ...* pauses a while and widens up a gentle smile*... Some admin stuff la. When you get recruited then I tell you la.

Cyrus: HUH?!! err okay. * turns to me and gives me that what kinda-shit-is-happening-here look*

Me: So what's the pay like and do you work everyday ?

Tin: Next time I'll tell you and I come whenever I feel like coming. Cya guys later! * winks*

As she walked off,both of us knew we were feeling relatively uneasy about this company, especially Tin's strange answers towards such elementary questions.

We got back to our seats.Soon after we were given application forms by this girl who looked no older than us.

Girl: * looks at Cyrus* Eh I'm from Junyuan Sec too.

Cy: Huh? *Trying to recall*

Girl: Hanny's friend.

Cy: Oo! You changed alot! What you working as ?

Girl: Hmm when you're a part of our company then I tell you la. * Takes our forms and walks away*

This was the last straw.This was our limit.Cyrus made a call to Hanny.Apparently, she said "Girl" changed alot after working for this company."Girl" would perpetually try to promote the company's products whenever she was out with her friends.

At that point of time, wild ideas were starting to generate themselves in our minds.I started guessing that these people were brain-washed out of their fucking senses into programmable robots and Cy thought that this part of the building ( where the company was ) would just fly off suddenly and the working teenagers would transform into aliens and we would die in the most horrible way ever.

Finally, we were called into an office room for the interview where we were introduced to "Mr Kelvin" who held a business manager position in the company.

This was the first stage of hell.

Mr Kelvin: Hello guys, have a seat. So where are you studying and which course are you in ?

Cyrus: Nyp in Chemical and Pharmaceutical Technology.

Mr Kelvin: Okay good, have you ever once thought of starting a business of your own?

Me & Cyrus: Nope. We're both into science.

Mr Kelvin: Let me show you our latest product.

He calls for another staff called X and X lead us to a room with 2 other guys who were 17 years of age as we got to know later.X then started his paper slides on the product.

Product name : Cal Water ( Calcium ionised water )

1. Smallest H20 Molecule on earth ( our bodies readily absorb smaller molecules )

2.Anti - Oxidant and Anti Aging ( Prevents cancer)

3.Detoxifying ( Cleans your system)

4.Energised ( Like your Gatorade or 100 Plus for instant refreshment)

5.Ph 8 ( It is healthier to drink water that's towards alkalinity to neutralise our acidic body)

Apparently, X had all sorts of newspaper cuttings dating all the way from 25 years ago and he was doing all sorts of comparative test with Cal water and our normal water to support these facts about their product. For example, the oldest japanese man ever lived was 121 years of age and the people in his village drank akaline water and he showed that Cal water actually neutralised iodine ( really really toxic ), while water did not.

X: So any questions about our product?

Me: Why dont I see your products on the shelves of any supermarket?

Cyrus: Yah la! ( getting suspicious)

X: We're trying not waste money on media advertising and we're doing a different way of advertising and selling - through word of mouth and thats where we need you.

Me: Okay let's say you spend THIS MUCH on advertising on tv and media, do you realise how many folds your company will get back with a uber product like this? And do you know how many millions of people watch tv everyday ? I bet you will overtake Evian water if you just put your products on the shelves.

X: Its a risk we will never take and since there's no furthur questions, I will now send you guys back to Mr kelvin.

Like hello? YOUR PRODUCT IS LIKE BLOODY GOD-LIKE AND I SWEAR THERE IS NO SUCH WATER WITH SUCH PROPERTIES LIKE THIS AND I TELL YOU PEOPLE WILL PAY FOR THIS AND YOU TELL ME ITS A RISK ? AND BTW, I HAVE LIKE 1000 MORE QUESTIONS ON YOUR DUMBFUCK-SCAMMING PRODUCT TO SEE HOW FAR YOU CAN LIE.

Btw, from their expressions and head nods, I bet the other two guys actually swallowed every word he said.Really really really really dumb and naive.

Anyway,Cyrus said he wanted to leave but I suggested we play along and thats what we did.

Back in Mr Kelvin's office.

Mr Kelvin: So how do your find our product?

Cyrus&Me: Thumbs up + *Sarcastic smile*

Twodumbguys: Woah damn good man.

Mr Kelvin:If you guys had guessed it, I'm actually about your age,18.I got into Venture Era at about age 16 and Miss Vera and I are actually still studying.Do you guys have any criminal record? ( Pointing to each of us as we shooked our heads). Well, I have and I come from a single income family but I worked my way up in Venture Era and here I am now, a business manager. ( like screw you ? Any position can sound damn highly payed but it depends on the nature of the company you bloody faggot) I took about 9 months since I came in and who says you need to have age to be experienced to be able to do business?Look at me and Vera and all the other business managers.They are most likely your age. (haha you think I'm going to join a company with a bunch of teenagers running it ah)

Cyrus: * busily smsing*

Me: * Just nodding my head but I'm still interested in how he hypnotises teenagers to join*

Twodumbguys: * seating face to face with Mr Kelvin looking really interested with the job*

Mr Kelvin: So who do you think you will sell the products to ?

Twodumbguys: family and relatives

Me&Cyrus: er yah family ( haha yah right i'll give it to my dog)

Mr Kelvin:Good way to start, family. ( shit, you want us to target and con our own family into buying your gimmick ? dream on) Now I'm going to to tell you about your job position. You are only allowed to do word of mouth sales and once you reach a certain number of sales, you will be promoted and when you reach my position, you're allowed to hire people under you.( yah like a pryamid scam, from the top all the way to the botttom )Your pay will be purely on commission

Mr Kelvin: You see this Mont Blanc pen ? *Takes it out of his pocket* It's about $470. I myself go for brands. Do you? ( points to each of us)

Me: So what's our pay?

Mr Kelvin: Whats your goal in life and do you think money is the most important thing in the world?

Me: err definitely money isn't the most important thing in the world but its sure hell is important right ?

Mr Kelvin: If people ask you what you're doing, tell them, we call ourselves businessmen, not salesmen and if you join us, the better benefit will be the social one. You get to meet different people from all walks of life.Let's say I give you 3000 a month, or I pay you 10 cents on the first day and a continous 10 cent increment on your second day and so on ( like fuck, you need to work for your entire life just to earn a decent salary? ), which pay will you choose?

Me:Erm Mr Kelvin, I'm just trying to get a part-time job that will get me as much cold hard cash now.I'm not looking for a career in your company and I'm pretty much satisfied with my social life.Business is mostly , if not , all about money so set your social life and activities apart.

Like wtf, you tell me about your Mont Blanc pen and how you go for brands and now you tell me its the social life you get in this company.How fucking contradicting.And to join a club to improve my social life ? Some kind of practicality - B u l l s h i t.

So much for the Venture Era.And so we left mars and went back to Mother Earth.

Well if you asked about the two guys - They're in Venture Era now.